I had THE worst migraine I’ve had in a very long time. It took me by complete and utter surprise. One minute, fine. Next minute, BAM, it was there! I struggled leaving work, I struggled driving home, and even struggled getting into bed. By the time I did, I was in so much pain as tears flowed freely down my face, I FINALLY cried out “God, please, You have to take this away NOW!” I couldn’t handle it anymore. I was ready to call someone up and ask them to take me to an emergency room. An almost instant bit of relief came upon me, and I laid there still crying, a bit in shock and still that bit of remnant of tears from the growing intense amount of pain I had been feeling for the last several hours.
I began thanking God, and found myself about an hour or so later, for the first time since getting home, turning on my phone and reading a bit of scripture and eventually going to some of the blogs I like to frequent. One blog I had only visited one other time before had popped into my mind to view.
The post was on August 10 and it was by Eileen Fisher. I clicked on the link because of the title alone. The title read: Prayer of Surrender. I begun to read, and I found myself releasing stuff that I wanted, desired, and yearned to release for a good few months now, and yet, I just couldn’t seem to grab hold of really letting go of how I felt about some things that have taken place in recent months. There had been offenses, stress, estate issues, family issues, grieving issues, etc etc – the list goes on and on. There was a strong, strong attack by the enemy and he had used everything in the book to hinder and emotionally cripple me. It wasn’t enough to be going through the family issues and the (what I realize now) ongoing grieving issues, and the anniversary of my mother’s death. The enemy used an already emotional state rocked with stress, and pounded me with other things that were coming from the north, south, east, and west! I was rocked and have been rocked, and God has been spending a lot of time speaking to me and loving on me and just revealing what HIS heart was and HIS desires were and are for me.
When the damage was done by the enemy… when it was all said and done there was doubt placed in my heart about a lot of things that hadn’t been there in years before rededicating my life. And I found myself realizing that I was struggling with something that wasn’t MINE to struggle with, and God was desperately trying to spare me from taking on burden(s) that I had inadvertently brought on myself by the offenses and the stress (etc), and those put on by others. The way of releasing that kind of junk and garbage is by surrendering, and we all know the word, and it’s almost like you can grab hold like it’s a physical, 3 dimensional object, and yet the grip just isn’t firm enough a lot of times for us.
Anyway…. this post hit home, and maybe it will for others, I don’t know, but I can say, that it’s some good stuff!
Here is the blog post in its entirety:
Prayer of Surrender
Whatever you need to lay on the altar, just lay it down. Whatever stress, disappointment, fear—just lay it down on the altar, just surrender. I heard the Lord say, “Make it a living sacrifice.” For some of you it’s family, for some of you it’s visions and dreams, ministries—just lay it on the altar. Because I heard the Lord say, “Give it to me that I can give it back. Give it to me that I can give it back.”
Father, we do surrender. And, Father, help us where we can’t surrender. Father, we surrender things known and unknown. Father, we give you every hindrance, every fear, every disappointment. Father, we surrender. Father, we let go. Father, we let go of anything and everyone that is trying to hold onto us. Father, those that are trying to block what you would have us do; and those, Father God, who are in the way; and Father, those who have injured, offended, hurt or restricted us. Father, we let them go because we want to be free. Free to follow your Holy Spirit. Free to follow the bidding of your Spirit.
So, Father, we have surrendered. Father, we ask that you would take our bodies as a living sacrifice: our minds to be renewed, our hearts to be healed, our wills to be established, our strength to be renewed. Father, every part of our full being that you alone be glorified.
Father, we give you all, all, all—the past, the now and the future. And we thank you. We thank you.
That, my friends, is a prayer we can all live with, and a prayer we can die to the flesh with. Love you, guys.